Picnic/Transcript

[Screen shows Salad Fingers sitting in a corner of his home, talking to someone on his telephone.]

Salad Fingers: H-hello, operator. C-could you connect me up to my old pal Charlie, please? Post haste! Pardon?

[Salad Fingers listens to the phone as it makes a loud screeching noise.]

Salad Fingers: Well, could you tell him that i am holding a grand picnic... today? W-we've got gypsy creams, derby scones, admeral's pie... uh-oohhh.

[Salad Fingers rubs his stomach, as he puts the phone down.]

Salad Fingers: Stop scratching your basket belly, said Mary Mandolin. (Picks the phone back up) How rude! I-I've been h-disconnected.

[Salad Fingers lifts up his hand to reveal Hubert Cumberdale on his finger.]

Salad Fingers: O-ooh. H-why if it isn't, ehm... B-Barbara... Logan-Price! I've made you a friend hat! (Places a small sailors hat onto the puppets head, and whistles a short tune.) There'll be fog on the shore tonight, Bosun. Hm? (Makes Hubert Cumberdale nod)

[Scene cuts to a room in Salad Fingers house with a painting of buildings on the wall. Salad Fingers enters the room in a wedding dress and veil. He walks up to a mirror, choked up.]

Salad Fingers: Uh, er. Y-you look so beautiful. *Sniff* I-I-It's your big day.

[Screen cuts to a window, as Salad Fingers and Hubert Cumberdale look through it.]

Salad Fingers: The guests should be here anytime. (Makes Hubert Cumberdale nod in agreement again)

[Screen cuts to Salad Fingers with food on a picnic blanket outside his house. He is no longer wearing the dress, and Hubert Cumberdale is gone. A little girl in a pink dress walks up to the picnic.]

Salad Fingers: Uh, w-why, i-it seems our first guest has arrived. (Licks lips) W-would you like some confectionery?

[The little girl nods, as she sits down by the picnic. A crow lands onto a piece of wood sticking out of the dirt, as it makes distorted high pitched noise. The girl is seen chewing some food loudly.]

Salad Fingers: H-how does your loganberry crumble taste?

[The girl stops chewing.]

Salad Fingers: It's simply delicious, replied Mable.

['Mable' continues to chew.]

Salad Fingers: H-i-i must say, your a well mannered young lady. I-i-i'd like to elect you as my new playmate.

[Marjory Stewart-Baxter appears behind the window of Salad Fingers house, watching them. Mable continues to chew loudly.]

Salad Fingers: (In the background) That's a pretty looking frock on your body. B-but it looks awfully dirty!

[Screen cuts back to Salad Fingers, as he clutches onto his stomach again.]

Salad Fingers: My tummybox feels broken.

[The crow continues to make the weird noises.]

Salad Fingers: (Let's go of his stomach, and smiles again) Would you like some pease pudding?

[Mable nods, as Salad Fingers pulls a rusty spoon out of a stitched up pouch. He scoops some of the pudding with the spoon, and feeds it to the girl. The crow makes a loud growl noise. Salad Fingers starts to sing the 'pease pudding hot' children nursery rhyme, as the crow flies towards him.]

Salad Fingers: Pease pudding hot, pease pudding cold, pease pudding in the pot nine days old!

[The crow scoops down and steals the spoon, startling Salad Fingers. Mable gasps. But Salad Fingers laughs it off. Mable joins in with the laughter too.]

Mable: *Giggle* I-I think he likes spoons too!

[Salad Fingers screeches in fear, as he puts his hands on his head.]

Mable: What's wrong?

[Salad Fingers continues to freak out, as we zoom into his eye.]

[The screen cuts to Salad Fingers sitting in the corner of a room in his house again, in the fetal position as Mable's voice echoes in his mind. The screen glitches to a hallucination of Mable without eye sockets.]

Mable: (Hallucination) W-what's wrong Mr. Finger? Do you not like my mouth words? Naughty mouth...

[Salad Fingers stares in total fear and shock, as her voice continues to echo though his mind.]

[END]