Birthday

Birthday is the tenth episode in the Salad Fingers series.

View a full transcript of this episode here.

Plot


Salad Fingers is in a party hat, with boxes of presents (contents unknown) sitting in the corner of his living room. He is presumably in the midst of preparations for Hubert Cumberdale's birthday party. The first dialogue in the episode includes Salad Fingers asking Milford Cubicle to take a bath, as he is "pooey." In reality, this is the still hanging body of Harry, the aggressive character from the episode Nettles. His body is now badly decomposed. However, Salad Fingers, as always, does not acknowledge this in any way.

Salad Fingers then raises his hand, showing the often mentioned Hubert Cumberdale puppet. He treats Hubert as a young boy, asking him how old he is, saying he's all grown up, and referencing that "they grow up so fast." Suddenly, there is a knock on Salad Fingers' door, unique in that it is not actually controlled by Salad Fingers. He is visibly disturbed, however, he continues with the birthday theme, and says that it's far too early for guests.

He exits his home, to find an extremely tall - higher than the clouds - white, gleaming pole a few feet from his door. As is his trademark, Salad Fingers commences rubbing it with his "salad fingers". However, upon finding that it is completely smooth and being obviously disturbed by this new, clean material, he angrily states that it is devoid of all "information." However, he still stays consistent with his fantasy of Hubert's birthday.

He returns inside the home to scold Milford Cubicle on his not taking a bath while he was out. Milford falls from the meathook, and Salad Fingers calls him "soggy" before attempting to "get [Milford's] gears in motion" by pantomiming a jack-in-the-box wheel motion with his hand on his own head - surprisingly, a music box tune plays in full, and all of his unkempt teeth (and other things stuck in his gums) begin to bend and wiggle in tune to the music while his irises progressively grow in size and speed in vibration.

However, without response from Milford (as he is a corpse), he laments in that it did not cheer him up. He leaves Horace Horsecollar "in charge" while he goes to fetch "the doctor" with Hubert. He finds a lost dumpster hidden on the edge of what looks like a whole forest of dead trees (or just a few trees clumped together, the camera hidden between them), and picks out another puppet - Dr. Papanak. The puppet is actually sentient, at least to Salad Fingers, who might just be hallucinating. It has chomping teeth and makes groan noises. Salad Fingers then lies down on a stonework bench, and lets the doctor nibble on his body, until it bites him on the side of the head, hard enough to draw much blood. He then throws the puppet, which in mid-air unsheathes many knives from its hand-hole, and lands on a nearby horse (which has the same markings as Horace Horsecollar) and stabs its knives into its torso, and then pulls itself upright and digs into the horse's flesh many times with its hands, also made of sharp objects. The horse stands still and sheds a tear, while Salad Fingers tells it to be still while the doctor eats its blood.

Salad Fingers then wakes up on the same stone bench, with wrinkles, extra hair on his chin, and slightly ripped clothing. He says "[he] must have slept for six Mondays" or weeks, so he returns home, but Hubert Cumberdale is left in the forest. When he gets home, he finds many horses have crowded into his shack, with a few horse corpses packed into his cupboards. The horse that Dr. Papanak attacked is seen, with a stitched up circle of skin where the wound made by the doctor was. Salad Fingers shoos the horses out after finding Milford Cubicle's skeleton, confirming the fact that he'd been asleep for a long time. Salad fingers, however, becomes very distressed by this and asks who has "Stolen" Millford Cubicle's skin. He finds that the pole outside his home has returned.

Also, outside is a table filled with many similar visions of Salad Fingers eating various bits of brain and guts from larger living animals, possibly human (or whatever life was left after The Great War). He sits with them for a time, until the pole recedes into the ground until it stops just a few feet above dirt level, with a present sitting on its top. Salad Fingers accepts the gift as from his table mates, and finds that it is a top hat. It is, in actuality, the removed flesh and clothing of Millford, however, he does not seem to notice, or refuses to notice. He simply notes how it is such a lovely, thoughtful present, but the other versions of himself do not acknowledge this.

Trivia

 * Hubert Cumberdale mentions how old he is turning to Salad Fingers, but cannot actually be understood because he unintelligibly whispers it, so it is unknown how old Hubert is.
 * This episode was set as private, the reason is probably because the episode contains gore and blood more than the rest of the episodes.