Cage/Transcript

[Screen shows Salad Fingers outside his house, wearing a beret.]

Salad Fingers: Hello. Today, I'm going to try and find France. Be-b-because I've always wanted to go there.

[Salad Fingers turns his attention to Stitch-Head. A short mutant creature with a large stitched head. The creature is watching Salad Fingers from a short distance.]

Salad Fingers: (Worried) Oh. B-But that little boy h-has been watching me for a while now.

[Screen cuts to Stitch-Head, as the screen glitches. Salad Fingers starts to walk away from it.]

Salad Fingers: I think I'll find France another day.

[Suddenly, Stitch-Head appears in front of Salad Fingers, making a screech noise. He smiles, as love hearts appear over his head. It makes weird baby noises. Salad Fingers stares at him, making scared noises. Stitch-Head breathes heavily, as he gets closer to Salad Fingers. Salad Fingers puts up his hand to keep it away, but it licks his hand. Creeped out, he quickly lifts up his hand away from it, as it laughs. It continues to make the baby noises, at Salad Fingers watches in terror.]

[Screen cuts to Salad Fingers house. The screen pans to a small hole in the wall, as a wood louse craws through it. Salad Fingers watches, as it stops. He's no longer wearing his hat.]

Salad Fingers: (Whispering) Hello there Bordois. I've been thinking about you. Huh, w-what have you been gathering today, little sister? Really? Aww... (Breathing heavily) Ah, your body is so much fun! I-I-I just want to give you a big stroke.

[Salad Fingers pokes the bug, crushing it and killing it.]

Salad Fingers: Oh. You've gone flat, little sister. A-A-And you're all goey! (Angry) I shan't play with you again, until you've had a wash.

[Someone knocks on the door. Salad Fingers opens it slightly and peeps outside to see an old tap tied to a string.]

Salad Fingers: Ooh! H-H-Have I been gifted a grubby tap? I don't think I've ever laid fingers on one of those before. Oh, how I've dreamt of taps.

[We enter a daydream Salad Fingers is having of him flying through the sky with grubby taps.]

Salad Fingers: Oohh, taps!

[Screen cuts to Salad Fingers surrounded by taps, as he's holding onto a pipe. The taps are saying "tap" in different voices.]

Salad Fingers: Oh, I just want to marry all of you gorgeous taps. (Licks a tap)

[Screen cuts back to Salad Fingers, as he's breathing heavily in excitement. He exits his house, and goes to pick up the tap, only for it to be pulled by the string. He follows after the tap. He enters some sort of forest, still following the tap. He accidentally steps into a rusty bear trap, making him screech. He looks down at his trapped leg, only to collapse due to the blood loss, but enjoying the pain.]

[Screen cuts to Salad Fingers sitting inside a cage in the forest.]

Salad Fingers: Oh. H-How did I get in here?

[Salad Fingers smiles, as he stares at the rusty poles, and touches it. He holds the poles with his fingers, and rubs them. He rubs them quicker and quicker, as he moans in pleasure. He stops.]

Salad Fingers: Oh, that was a treat for the fingers.

[Stitch-Head walks up to the cage, and blows a kiss to Salad Fingers. He just watches him, nervously. Stitch-Head pulls out a ring with a tooth on it, and proposes to Salad Fingers.]

Salad Fingers: H-w-whats this?

[Stitch-Head makes a, angry loud noise, startling Salad Fingers. It breathes heavily, waiting for an answer.]

Salad Fingers: I-I-I don't like this game. I-I think I'm going to go home now.

[Stitch-Head continues to make noises, trying to speak.]

Salad Fingers: Bye bye.

[A random curtain rope lowers down, as Salad Fingers pulls it. A curtain covers up the inside of the cage. Stitch-Head growls in anger, but as the curtain lifts back up, Salad Fingers is gone. Stitch-Head gasps, as he looks in the inside of the cage. He sits down, and starts to cry. Salad Fingers is seen wearing his baret again, and flying on a giant grubby tap.]

[END]